Start by taking some time to think about your personal belief system and faith-commitment. You can meet the challenge successfully by adopting a values-led approach. This takes discipline and determination, and perhaps most importantly, support from caring and non-judgmental individuals who share your values, but it can be done. There is such a thing as self-control, and it is possible to subject your behavior to your will regardless of what your emotions are saying. Fortunately, the same thing can’t be said about actions. They can blind-side you and take you by surprise. We understand that feelings are difficult, if not impossible, to control. It simply isn’t true that you must “inevitably” act on your feelings of same-sex attraction or any particular sexual attraction or urge for that matter. We’d also like to encourage you to excise the word “inevitable” from your vocabulary. As a first step, we suggest you seek out the assistance of a trained Christian counselor – with a biblical worldview – who is compassionate, understanding, and experienced in the area of same-sex attractions. In turn, these insights can be useful in freeing you from emotional bondage and enabling you to live according to your consciously chosen values.
There are a variety of tools to help in this process, including: individual or group therapy, prayer, healthy relationships, discipleship, reading and writing in a journal.
In spite of this, it is feasible, to gain valuable insights into some of the factors that may have contributed to the shaping of your present state of mind. We believe they are best explained in terms of developmental psychology and trait development, and that there is no single “one-size-fits-all” theory to account for them. The origins of sexual feelings often lie deeply hidden within the individual psyche.